02.13.03

Boo hoo

Dave Winer, you should know that it's considered bad form to move to the Northeast and start whining about the cold. It's not like we kept it a secret. You should know it's also bad form to complain about wind chill. Wind chill is bogus. Wind chill is for sissies. If you want to talk cold, give me your air temperature, not some kind of made-up subjective "oh how cold it would be to stand naked in the wind" flimflam. Me? My air temperature is 0 degrees. I'm in shortsleeves, I'm loving it. I say to the Arctic front: BRING IT ON.

And if you can't help but whine, at least keep it out of the weblog. Because no matter how cold you are, people north of you are colder.

Central Vermont: 0 F
Montreal: -8 F
Quebec City: -12 F
etc.

The internautes in Canada are Francophone and Centigradic, so they won't realize that you're complaining about temperatures they can only dream of. But it's no excuse. Even if the people in Washington (31 F) and Santa Clara (54 F) think you're a tough guy, you just make yourself look silly to the Inuit.

Have I whined about the cold on my own website?

Yes, I have.

I have whined like the squealing weasel. I have whined loud and I have whined long, summoning vast reserves of self-pity and broadcasting them to the Internet. But I've done it because it's DAMNED COLD. Not some sun hat/palm tree/umbrella drink 15 degrees. Not some tank top and short pants 15 degrees. Hah! And I intend to keep whining until I get called on it by someone even colder.

Where my momma lives in Maine, they have a rule about digging clams. You can dig all the clams you want, but not until you've lived there for a year.

It's a good rule. Buck up, Dave Winer, and save it for 2004.

View this post in context