09.27.03

I Gave All I Had (But the Sudbury Fun Run Wanted More)

Today was my second running of the region's premier track event, where athletes from the furthest reaches of Addison and Rutland counties gather to answer the question: who will be fastest?

The answer: it will not be me.

Covering ten grueling kilometers of gently rolling Vermont farmland, the Fun Run demands the utmost in rudimentary physical fitness. Some people in past years have even been injured trying to complete it. You go in with a clear head, or you don't come out.

I had braved the course last year, my first road race ever, finishing with a time of 49:50 over the six mile loop (only 23 minutes off the world record!). I went in to this year's race knowing I could do even better. After all, I had been doing more intensive marathon training this fall, and felt fitter than I did last September. Also, I had a far luckier race number. I could almost smell the fear among the fifty other contestants. Then again, the starting line was right next to a parked liquid manure truck.

I don't know what did it - maybe it was the strong head wind, or a too-fast start, or the six tacos I had eaten two hours before. But I only managed a time of 50:17, and didn't even have the pleasure of passing any wheezing, overwhelmed runners who had burned out halfway through the race. Instead, I provided that pleasure to others.

Oh Sudbury Fun Run, you are a harsh mistress. But I promise you, one day I will come back and win! Even if it means shaving my legs, eating nothing but power gels, and memorizing each turn and hill of the race course months in advance. Even if it means watching inspirational videos and slicking down my eyebrows with Vaseline. Even if it means a twice-weekly program of moderate exercise.

I will return, and I will prevail!

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